Stars And Stripes Forever
by schillingklaus
Summary: Carly and the gang go to PCA Summer Camp and participate in their Independence parade. Carly/Dustin, Nevel/Megan, Freddie/Sam, Spencer/Miss Fielder, ...


**Stars and Stripes forever!**

* * *

**Klaus Schilling**

* * *

**Legalnotice**

* * *

**Rating**:

* * *

PG-13

******Disclaimer**:

* * *

I don't own any of the shows or other works of arts used in this story.

* * *

**Description**

* * *

**Genres**:

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Fluff, Family, Friends, Spiritual, Mystery

******Fandoms**:

* * *

_The iCarly Show_, _Zoey 101_, _Drake & Josh_, _Unfabulous_, _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_, _True Jackson VP_, _Victorious_, _Bigtime Rush_

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay – Dustin Brooks, Spencer Shay – Miss Fielder, Fredward Benson – Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett – Logan Reese, Nevel Papperman – Megan Parker, Jessica Warner – Jermemiah Trottman, Chuck Chambers – Missy Robinson, Gibby Carlsen – Lulu Johnson, Sasha Striker – Josh Nichols, Shane Diamond – Quinn Pensky, …

******Summary**:

* * *

Spencer makes some sculptures for the Independence parade of Melanie's boarding school. Carly _et al._ attend the parade

******Timeline**:

* * *

during season 3 of _The iCarly Show_, season 2 of _True Jackson VP_, elsewhere post series

* * *

written for _Livejournal_-community _crossovers100_, claim _Pacific Coast Academy_, prompt _Independence_

* * *

written for _Livejournal_-community _crossovers50_, claim _Pacific Coast Academy_, prompt _Independence_

* * *

**Contents**

* * *

Chapter 1 Invitation

* * *

Chapter 2 Welcome To Summer Camp

* * *

Chapter 3 Camp Rocque

* * *

3.1 (

* * *

Chapter 4 Snack Time

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Chapter 5 Open Mic Night

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Chapter 6 The Parade

* * *

**Chapter 1 Invitation**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

June 1, 2010

******Place**:

* * *

attic of the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett (via chatcam)

* * *

'Online in 5…4…3…2,' boomed Freddie.

'Not the one,' added Carly.

Sam grinned. 'The one is for losers!'

Carly smiled. 'Viewers and vieweresses…'

Sam continued: 'you who sit in front of your laptops and laptopettes, because you haven't got a life, like our tech dork Freddie…'

Carly looked aghast at Sam. 'So, today, we've activated our chatcam. Just start your web cam, and click on that button… I really don't know how to do that, I've got Freddie for that…'

Sam shrugged.

Freddie pushed the buttons.

Melanie Puckett appeared on the chat monitor.

Freddie grunted. 'Sam! Let it be! I know it's you!'

Melanie grunted, 'No, it's me, Melanie, from Malibu!'

Freddie looked forth and back. _Apparently, Melanie and Sam had chosen different clothes, and there was probably no way Sam could have made the picture in advance and fed it to the monitor as a replay, because Melanie reacted reasonably to his words, or maybe that should be tested._ 'Melanie, how many fingers do you see on my right hand?' He clenched his fist and held it aloft.

Melanie shook her head. 'You can't fool me that easily, it's your fist, no fingers are visible.!'

Freddie moaned. 'Sorry for not believing you, Melanie.'

Carly had been terribly annoyed when Freddie did not believe that Sam had a twin sister. Now she sighed with relief.

Sam cackled sadistically.

Carly smiled. 'OK, this is Sam's twin sister Melanie.'

Melanie smiled. 'OK, Carly, Freddie, Sam…'

Freddie's eyes inflated to heart-shaped balloons.

Melanie grinned. 'My school, here at Malibu, is traditionally celebrating Independence Day with a parade, I'll be a majorette, and we want you to be here, especially do we need Carly's brother Spencer…'

Carly gasped. 'Why?'

Melanie explained that they needed sculptures of the most important people of that time, such as George Washington, Benjamin Frenklin, Thomas Jefferson, and also a puppet of Benedict Arnold, but this one was going to be set on fire, so it shouldn't cause too much of an effort. 'Spencer will be paid well! And you should come, too!'

Sam rubbed her tummy. 'The inventor of the _egg Benedict?_'

Carly chuckled.

Freddie explained that Benedict Arnold was the greatest traitor in the war of Independence.

Sam chuckled. 'But I'm hungry!'

Carly smiled. 'Sam, you're always hungry. Yeah, I believe that Spencer will be keen on that job.'

Melanie smiled.

Carly grinned. 'OK, but one question: Isn't Independence day during the Summer Break?'

Melanie nodded. 'True, but we've got many summer camps, which are enjoyed by pupils of all over the USA, and even some exchangers.'

Sam moaned. 'Masochists! Except if it's a cooking camp…'

Melanie grinned. 'Why doesn't that surprise me all that much? Anyways, if you're interested in our summer camps, click on _pcaDOTcom_, under _summer camp_.'

Freddie and Carly agreed. 'We'll do!'

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

foyer of the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson

* * *

Spencer grinned. 'Whether I want to make those dolls? Yeah, baby!' He cheered and darted around. 'Did Washington really have teeth made of cherry wood?'

Sam groaned. 'Cherry muffins would be more of my thing.'

Carly shrugged.

Freddie launched the interweb browser. 'OK, the summer camp programs of _Pacific Coast Academy_… wow, they've got a beach, and many pools…'

Carly explained that each of them could choose a summer camp, gratis. 'In fact, Spencer will work as an adviser for the sculpting camp, which means that the participants are going to help you with the sculptures.'

Spencer smiled.

Freddie beamed. 'Sam! This is for you… French and Italian cooking, with Pierre Le Mange[1:1]!'

Sam's eyes gleamed. 'Yeah, Pierre Le Mange from cooking channel! Sign me up!'

Freddie shrugged. 'OK… wow! Media Technology, sponsored by Malcolm Reese[1:2], the greatest Hollywood producer ever!'

Sam growled. 'Grow up, dork!'

Carly took a look at the program. '_Camp Pythagoras — Ancient History of Geometry_… Spencer, I'm signing up for that!'

Sam shrugged. 'Boring!'

Spencer shrugged. Didn't you say you hate geometry?

Carly shook her head. 'I hate Mr. Howard, our teacher for geometry.'

Sam burped. 'I hate all teachers and subjects, no matter who or what!'

Spencer shrugged. 'OK, if you say so…'

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

the next day

******Place**:

* * *

apartment of the Bensons

******People**:

* * *

Marissa Benson, Spencer Shay, Carly Shay, Fredward Benson

* * *

As usual, Marissa Benson was not keen on Freddie going far away. 'Will he take his daily tick bath? Flu shots? His germ-killing undergarment?'

Freddie squealed. 'Mom!'

Carly grunted. 'Freddie is no longer a little baby.'

Spencer shrugged. 'He had no problems in California when we went to those filthy creeps who copied from _iCarly_[1:3]'.

Marissa moaned. 'OK, but don't forget the mini-first-aid-kit.'

Spencer, Freddie, and Carly agreed grudgingly. _That giant suitcase?_

Carly was worried about one thing: _Only one day has passed since Freddie understood that Melanie was real, and he already started talking about Melanie "being all hot and curvy", as opposed to Sam who was "an ugly matron" Where was that going to? Physically, Sam and Melanie were alike, so Freddie was totally irrational, and that was so unusual for him…_

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

one day later

******Place**:

* * *

locker hall of Ridgeway school

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Gibson Carlsen, Ripoff Rodney[1:4], Jeremy Sneezer[1:5], Duke Blatzberg[1:6], Wendy, Chuck Chambers, Mandy Valdez, many other pupils (background)

* * *

Ripoff Rodney grinned. 'Anyone want to buy some fake costumes? They will allow you to participate in the PCA Independence parade…'

Carly shook her head. 'I guess we had a bunch of viewers…'

Wendy smiled. 'I've signed up for a summer camp. It is about the rôle of oral propaganda in ancient cultures.'

Sam shrugged. 'Cool! Freddie will look so old when he's tired of Melanie…'

Carly grunted. 'Sam!'

Jeremy sneezed. 'I'm going to Media technology camp at PCA!'

Freddie pouted. 'It seems I better take mom's antiseptic juice with me, the bigger bottle, that is.'

Carly sighed.

Gibby smiled. 'I've been accepted to the spelling bee camp at PCA. I must be awesome.'

Carly grinned. 'Sure, what is more awesome than a speller bee camp at PCA?'

Mandy sang the quack-quack song. 'Oh, hi, do you think you could go to Malibu without me?'

Carly choked. 'Erm… honestly…'

Mandy smiled.'There's a camp for management in the entertainment sector. I'm in it.'

Duke grinned. 'Hey, Freddie? Do you want to smell the socks that I've worn during my last wrestling match? I hadn't yet got the time to wash them. Oh, I've registered again at the martial-artist-camp at PCA. I was there three years ago, and I had obtained a scholarship. I blew it badly, though.'

Freddie grunted. 'Why, pray tell, did they not keep him?'

Chuck Chambers smiled mischievously. 'Dad sent me to a camp for bad guys at PCA.'

Carly moaned. 'Let's not tell Spencer anything about it, or he will ponder again about the whole trip to California…'

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

Nevel Papperman's room

******Poeple**:

* * *

Nevel Papperman

* * *

Nevel had received mail from California. He smiled when he opened it, noticing the seal of the dean of the Pacific Coast Academy.

'Dear Mr. Papperman, we are pleased to tell you that we can accept you to Pacific Coast Academy's annual camp for instrumental musics. Greetings, Dean Rivers'

The letter also mentioned a certain Mr. Combover as the manager of the camp for classic instrumental music.

Nevel had heard of him. 'The reincarnation of Beethoven!' Nevel jumped and bounced around. 'OK, Carly Shay, it's payback time, and then you will rue the day, until dystopia will you rue it!'

* * *

**Chapter 2 Welcome To Summer Camp**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

June 25, 1010, early morning

******Place**:

* * *

campus entrance of PCA

******People**:

* * *

Spencer Shay, Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett, many other pupils (background), Melanie Puckett (later), Dustin Brooks (later), Mr. Combover (later)

* * *

Spencer had halted his craft at the drop site.

The gang was just leaving the car.

Spencer wondered where Melanie was.

Sam shrugged. 'I've called her from downtown LA, where you had to take that "shortcut"…'

Spencer sighed deeply. 'How could I know that it was a dead end leading up to a haberdashery?'

Carly grinned. 'Sometimes, reading sign posts is worth the trouble.'

Spencer moaned with disbelief.

Finally, Melanie showed up again. She shook hands with Carly, Freddie, and Spencer, while she avoided Sam.

Freddie's eyes inflated to heart-shaped balloons when he touched Melanie's hand.

Sam wondered, 'have you forgotten your medications, Dorkweird?'

Freddie scoffed at Sam.

Melanie announced that she was sharing a room with Sam and Carly.'101 Butler Hall.'

The latter girls cheered.

Freddie grunted, 'I want to share a room with Melanie, too…'

Sam wedgied Freddie mercilessly. 'Forget it, Foolward!'

Melanie shook her head. 'This school had been boys-only until I arrived here, like, six years ago. And there are strict rules and curfews, like, no boys in the girls' dorms after 8 p.m… and vice versa.'

Freddie moaned with disappointment.

Sam and Carly chacled with glee.

Melanie explained that one of Freddie's roomies was soon coming there in order to take him to his dorm.

Along came Dustin Brooks.

Melanie grabbed him. 'That's my ex-boyfriend[2:1] Dustin.'

Dustin grinned. Alas, when his eyes hit Carly, he blushed half to death.

Melanie explained that Dustin was Freddie's roomie during the camp.

Freddie shuddered.

Dustin nodded. 'OK, Freddie, let's go to our dorm, 148 Maxwell Hall! You have to tell me about the show… you're going to make a special of our parade, right?'

Melanie admitted that Dustin was a very huge fan of _iCarly_.

Sam and Carly nodded.

Freddie beamed. 'Good idea, an _independence special_!' Alas, his response was lame, as he was still partially paralysed by Melanie's handshake.

Dustin lead Freddie away.

Finally, Spencer needed a place to stay.

Melanie chuckled. 'OK, this is the number of Mr. Fletcher.[2:2] You will stay with him.' She rendered a slip of paper unto Spencer.

Spencer shrugged. 'OK…'

Melanie addressed the girls. 'Let's go now!'

The girls waved at Spencer and walked away.

Spencer sighed. _All alone…_

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

101 Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett, Carly Shay

* * *

Carly's and Sam's eyes bugged out when they entered the dorm.

Carly wondered whether it was even possible to learn at such a school that looked like a spa.

Melanie shrugged. 'You get accustomed to it.'

Carly smiled.

Samn groaned, 'but my stomach doesn't get accustomed to startving for several hours!'

Melanie sighed. 'unfortunately, cooking chamnnel has now hired Kazu as a star cook for _Food Fight_. He ran our local sushi bar. But we've got a new restaurant… it's called _Taco Whacko_.'

Sam beamed. 'Let's go there…'

Carly reminded that they still had their luggage to take care of.

Sam shrugged. 'Do that for me! I need to refill my stomach!'

Carly glared aghast. But, being accustomed to that, she followed Sam's commands.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Dustin Brooks, Fredward Benson, Ryan Laserbeam

* * *

When Dustin guided Freddie into their dorm, Ryan Laserbeam lay lazily in his bed, glaring aloft.

Dustin wondered, 'what do you neeed your large suitcase for?'

Freddie moaned, 'a medical case, full of poultices and stuff. My hypochondric mom doesn't let me leave town without it.'

Dustin coughed. 'Bad mom.'

Freddie nodded solemnly. 'Oh, I'm in the media technology camp.'

Dustin shrugged. 'You're the tech producer, so you're supposed to be.'

Freddie nodded. 'What camp are you in?'

Dustin replied, 'Ancient Geometry, with Mr. Takato. My friend Michael had seen Mr. Takato on campus like two years ago. Takato had claimed to be a teacher here, but there was no such teacher. And this summer, he's a camp adviser. Styrange, isn't it?'

Freddie gasped. 'Carly is there, too.'

Ryan remarked that his friend Louise Johnson, or, as he used to call her, Lulu, was in the same camp.

Freddie sighed. 'I'm the best long divider of my school's algebra team, but I suck at geometry.'

Ryan shrugged. 'I'm in the parade performance camp.'

Dustin and Freddie glared strangely at Ryan. 'Isn't that for girls?'

Ryan grinned. 'I applied as a majorette in order to impress some girl named Kelsey. You will make a video clip of the parade, right?'

Freddie nodded solemnly.

Ryan smiled. He jumped from his bed. 'OK, look at this…' He jumped aloft, performing a backward _salto_.

Freddie and Dustin gasped and applauded.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

_Taco Whacko_

******People**:

* * *

Sonya[2:3] (later), Benjamin Singer, Samantha Puckett, Ashley Blake[2:4], many other pupils (background)

* * *

Sam had entered the café, sneaking up to the counter. Apparently, she had to push a few waiting pupuils aside, but she had no qualms in doing so.

Ben Singer stood behind the counter. He wore some outfit similar to T-Bo in _Groovy Smoothie_.

Sam ordered the whole menu, up and down.

Benn grinned. 'Hi, bunny! Do you want some discount?'

Sam smiled. 'Sure, what would I have to do?'

Ben played with his lips. 'Make out a bit with me.'

Sam coughed. 'Er, sure,' she replied sarcastically.

Ben approached Sam's face with his lips.

Sam bit Ben's lips bleeding.

Ben whimpered with agony.

Sonya, who had hitherto been waiting in the kitchen, heard the scream. She stormed in. 'What's going on here?'

Some onlooking student named Ashley Blake explained the situation.

Sonya rebuked Ben severely. 'Serves you well!'

Finally, Sam recognised Sonya, her former private cook. 'Sonya!'

Sonya beamed when she recognised Sam. 'Miss Puckett! Long time no see!'

Sam hugged Sonya heartily.

Sonya grinned. 'Free nachos for Sam! I've missed you so much. Working for you was the most fun job ever.'

Sam smiled.

Sonya wondered whether Sam was still together with that dork.

Sam coughed. 'Fredfart Benson? We have never been "together". And I don't think we will ever be.'

Sonya shrugged. 'OK, do you want your usual cheddar sauce, or some red hot salsa? We've also got quacamoly…'

Sam shrugged. 'As long as it is not tapenade…'

Sonya smiled. 'OK, you get all three of them…'

Sam beamed.

Ashley sat down next to Sam. 'Hi, you're cool!'

Sam smiled. 'You are?' Upon a second look, she continued, 'hi. you must be Ashley Blake, the famous Hollywood kid star!'

Ashley nodded. 'Yeah, that's me! You run the famous web show most kids here are addicted to, right?'

Sam was flattered. 'Technically, it's Carly's show…'

Ashley smiled. '_iCarly_ would be nothing without you. Carly is lamer than her cousin Megan, although they look alike.'

Sam choked. 'Carly has got a cousin that looks alike?'

Ashley nodded and grinned.

Sam smiled. _Hey, Freddie will never believe that. Given all the mess with Melanie, Megan would break his neck. But maybe Ashley could help, too, given that Freddie had a crush on various female tweenie and teen stars._ 'OK, I'll do some slave jobs for you, if you do me a favour in turn…' She whispered, 'if you feign that you were interested in some guy named Fredweeb Benson, and then hurt his feelings…'

Ashley grinned. 'OK, I love that rôle…'

Sam and Ashley high-fived.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

foyer of Mr. Fletcher's apartment

******People**:

* * *

Mr. Fletcher, Mr. Combover, Spencer Shay

* * *

Mr. Fletcher greeted the two advisers. 'My name is Fletcher. I'm the adviser of the drama club of PCA, and, during this period, the director of the _Boston Tea Party_ play that we are going to perform during the Independence celebrations.'

Mr. Combover introduced himself as the adviser of the classic music camp. 'We are performing at the parade.'

Spencer had somehow guessed who Mr. Combover was, given that he looked exactly like Ludwig van Beethoven crossed with Amadeus Mozart. 'Spencer Shay, I'm the adviser of the sculpting camp.'

Mr. Fletcher nodded. 'You are going to sleep in hammocks that we attach to the chandelliers.'

Spencer smiled. 'Cool! I often slept in hammocks when I was on a trip across the Grand Canyon, with my pal Socko…'

Mr. Fletcher and Mr. Combover did not want to hear the rest.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

out on the campus

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Shane Diamond[2:5], many anonymous pupils (background), Samantha Puckett (hidden), Ashley Blake (hidden)

* * *

Searching for Melanie, Freddie strolled the campus. He stumbled inadvertedly upon… 'Shane,' yelled freddie with surprise.

Shane sighed. 'Freddie, it's really you?'

Freddie nodded and high-fived with Shane. 'I'm in the media technology camp, and you?'

Shane sighed. 'I'm in the chemistry camp. A certain Quinn Pensky from caltech is our adviser.'

Freddie shrugged. 'Never heard…'

Shane didn't care. 'It's the first time I may leave Seattle since Sam pushed me down the elevator hole.'

Freddie grinned. 'Sam is around. Will you pay her back?'

Shane scratched his chin. 'Sounds tempting!'

Freddie nodded.

Shane sighed. 'Alas, I also have to discover from a broken heart, on to of broken bones.'

Freddie wanted to know the details.

Shane explained, 'see, when I awoke from my comatose paralysis, I saw pictures of some winner of the National Science Fair. Her name is Paige Howard[2:6]. She was so sweet — looking almost totally like Carly — and super-smart, totally unlike Carly. I couldn't help but…' He blushed totally.

Freddie assumed, 'and you contacted Paige, and she turned you down?'

Shane grunted, 'much worse… I tried to contact her, as I wanted to do some interesting experiments by her side, which would have enabled us to win a Nobel Prize. But, ultimately, it turned out that there was no such thing as Paige Howard. It was a fraud by someone yet unknown.'

Freddie gasped. 'How's that possible?'

Shane shrugged. 'Maybe I will figure things. Paige is well-known here,as she had given a demonstration of her invention, like, three years ago, on this campus.'

Freddie scratched his head. 'Strange…'

Unbeknownst to Shane and Freddie, Sam and Ashley were hiding in some nearby shrubbery.

Sam whispered to Ashley, 'OK, that's Dorkward.'

Ashley smiled. 'What a dweeb, but shouldn't be a problem for a passionate actress to fool him.'

Sam smiled with glee.

* * *

**Chapter 3 Camp Rocque**

[3:1]

* * *

**3.1 (**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

next morning, breakfast time

******Place**:

* * *

campus square

******People**:

* * *

Spencer Shay, Carly Shay, various anonymous people (background)

* * *

Spencer and Carly met on the campus square.

Carly hugged her brother. 'Him you're early…'

Spencer grinned. 'I have to place some signposts.' He dragged a wheelbarrow with signposts around.

Carly wondered. 'That's your job as an adviser?'

Spencer shook his head. 'Not directly… well, Mr. Fletcher from the acting camp was too laxy to do it, so he forced me to place the signposts for various other camps, otherwise the pupils lose orientation.' He looked at his plan.

Carly remarked that Spencer held his plan upside sdown. 'I think you lost your orientation!'

Spencer sighed. 'Oops!' Then he placed a signpost reading _Camp Rocque_. 'And now the signpost to your camp about ancient geometry. Good luck!'

Carly thanked her brother. Then she waved before she ran away, following the directions to _Camp Geometry_.

Spencer hammered yet another signpost into the ground. 'OK, that's enough for here, I have to go to my woodshop and make the sculpture of George Washington. Pure cherry wood!'

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

classroom of the geometry camp

******People**:

* * *

Mr. Takato, Dustin Brooks, Carly Shay, Lulu Johnson, some anonymous pupils (background)

* * *

Carly had been sitting in the front row, only two seats from Dustin Brooks.

Dustin blushed almost to death when he noticed who was sitting so close to him.

Louise Johnson sat behind the two of them.

In this moment, Mr. Takato entered the classroom, bowing before the pupils. He wrote his name onto the blackboard.

Dustin sighed. 'So he does exist… Michael has not lied,' whispered he.

Mr. Takato started the camp. 'Good morning, you want to learn about geometry of the ancient times. Who of you may answer the following question: How many edges does a triangle have?'

Carly raised her hand. 'Three!'

Dustin and Lulu applauded.

'OK,' replied Takato, 'but how do you come to know that a triangle, one of the oldest figures in geometry, has got three edges?'

Carly stammered. 'dunno… because my elder brother Spencer taught me to say so?'

Dustin and Lulu shrugged.

Mr. Takato shook his head. 'No, no, no, that's not how to learn about geometry.'

Carly, Dustin, and Lulu looked consternated.

The pupils wanted to know the right way to learn about geometry.

Takato addressed Carly. 'In the nextdays, you will start to live like a triangle, to eat like a triangle, to breath like a triangle, to dress like a triangle, to…'

Carly looked aghast.

Dustin and Lulu shrugged helplessly.

Mr. Takato had a great basket that he had dragged along. Now he opened the basket's cover, unvealing a strange box.

The box containes a pile of squished capers, a pile of squished Garlic, and a pile of squished olives.

Mr. Takato placed the box in front of Carly.

Carly remarked that she was not yet hungry.

Mr. Takato didn't care. He handed her a wooden stick. 'Your task is to blend those piles with the help of the stick, thus making tapenade.'

Carly still did not understand. She started fumbling with the stick.

Mr. Takato told her to blend them correctly. He guided Carly's hand. 'Rhythmically… with your soul!'

'With my soul,' stammered Carly, still unaware of what she was doing.

Dustin, who was going to learn about the circle, and Lulu, who was going to learn about the straight line, were assigned different yet equally boring tasks.

Suddenly, an earthquake of 1.5 on Richter's scale was noticed.

The class room and the pupils trembled.

Mr. Takato urged the kids to continue. 'Blend the tapenade!'

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

cafeteria of the _PCA_

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Megan Parker, many other pupils (background), Sonya (background), Freddie (later)

* * *

Carly had taken a seat in the cafeteria. She gasped when she saw her cousin. 'Megan!'

Megan grinned. 'Aw, Carly, long time no see! What are you doing here?'

Carly told Megan about her first day in geometry camp.

Megan coughed. 'Weird!'

Carly chuckled. 'Do you know that my mate Sam is in the cooking camp? They make mediterranean food for us.'

'You mean _I never wash my hands_ Sam,' wondered Megan.

Carly gasped. 'OK, I don't take the _pasta Bolognese_, but something else for lunch.'

Megan shrugged. 'Of course, I'm in some camp, too, I will play the march at the celebrations of independence.'

Carly wondered what they were going to play.

Megan explained, '_Stars and Stripes Forever_, of course.'

Carly grinned. 'Of course!'

Megan also remarked that some guy in her camp had confused her with Carly. 'His head is round like a melon… he told me, that is, you, to rue the day, until dystopia…'

Carly sighed. 'Can't be … Nevel Papperman, that toad…'

Megan choked. 'I think he's cool… I know a few people who should rue the day until dystopia, you know, boob and boob.' She meant her brother Drake, the greatest teenage rock idol from outhern California, and her step-brother Josh, a smart dork.

Carly sighed. 'Are they in the camp, too?'

Megan moaned, 'Josh is the co-adviser of the video game camp, and Drake is here. He's the bandleader of _Camp Rocque_.'

Carly shrugged. 'Yeah, I've seen the signposts, buy why is _Rock_ typoed badly?'

Megan laughed. 'the camp is sponsored by Gustavo Rocque, the titan of the rock-and-pop business.'

Carly gasped. 'That's cool!'

Megan grunted, 'unfortunately it is. It makes him have more girls, one per week instead of one per two weeks.'

Carly sighed.

Megan explained that the best pupils participating in _Camp Rocque_ will go on tour with Drake next year, to new York, Rio, Tokyo, Rome…

Carly swooned.

Megan continued, 'if you have heard the earthquake this morning, it was Gustavo Rocque shouting at the inept participants. This is always terrible. A certain James Maddigan, a wannabe drummer, has already given up and fled somewhere into the nowhere lands. I guess that many will follow…' Se giggled.

Carly shuddered with dismay. 'But, seriously, how can you like Nevel?' Fortunately, Carly could not dwell on that. 'Oh, Freddie is around, you know, the dweeb next door that permanently hits on me… Hey, maybe we can fool him?' She disappeared under the table.

Megan shrugged. But she was looking forward to pranking Freddie.

Fredward walked over. 'Oh, hi Carly…'

Megan chuckled.'I'm not Carly. My name is Megan. Carly is my cousin.'

Freddie grunted, 'oh no, just because Sam has got a monocygotic twin, … you can't fool me!'

Megan grinned. 'I can't?'

Freddie blew hot smoke through his capital orifices. 'Never! A good joke only works once!'

Megan shrugged. 'As you wish!' She disappeared under the table.

'Carly? What the…' Freddie pouted.

Carly remerged from the table. 'Hi, Freddie, do you want to sit here?'

Freddie nodded. 'Sure, but admit that you can't fool me with your imaginaru cousin "Megan"!'

Carly shrugged. 'Why would I fool you?'

Freddie grunted. 'Because you've learnt from Sam.'

Carly shrugged. 'I did? Oh as you talk about Sam, her cooking camp makes some of the lunch.'

Freddie coughed. 'Eeeeeeew!' He stormed out from the cafeteria.

Megan stood up again. She high-fived with Carly.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

same day, curfew time

******Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Ryan Laserbeam, Fredward Benson, Dustin Brooks, Shane Diamond (phone)

* * *

Dustin told his roomies about the strange events in the geometry camp. 'Now I have to live like a circle. Aw, my head is so turning around, like a merry-go-round, just less merry, and more round!'

Freddie coughed. 'Mom has put something against that into my med case…'

Dustin preferred to let it go away over night.

Ryan boasted with his efforts in the parade performance group. 'The leading majorette, Melanie, is so hot! But I know a girl that looks a lot like her, and she goes to my school in New York City. Her name is Pinky.[3:2]'

Freddie drooled. _Pinky sounded cute… but, hey, did that mean that Sam and Melanie were not just twins, but part of a triplet? That was so terrific… Or were they all playing a mean game: Sam, and now Carly, too, with her Megan?_

Dustin chuckled. 'She was my girlfriend, that was four years ago…'

Freddie and Ryan wanted to know the details.

Dustin sighed. 'She was a really bad girl, and loose like a snow flake in a blizzard…'

Freddie coughed. 'Sounds more like Sam…'

Dustin confirmed that Melanie had been much worse, and his sister Zoey had rightfully opposed to them dating. 'But, at some point, Melanie turned into the head of the cheerleading group.'

Suddenly, Freddie's phone rang.

Fredward picked it up. 'Fredward Benson… oh, Shane!'

Shane whispered, 'OK, Freddie, you are an expert for making music videos and patching sounds, right?'

Freddie agreed to some degree.[3:3]

Shane explained that his cousin James was a member of the _Camp Rocque_. 'He needs a really good video in order to make it into Drake Parker's new band.'

Freddie nodded. 'Drake?'

Ryan laserbeamed. 'That's a rock idol! My pal Jimmy has tried to be like him, but that Rocque guy has shouted him away. I wonder where he has gone.'

Dustin was worried. 'I hope not to Redstone Gulch!'[3:4]

Freddie and Ryan wondered about Redstone Gulch.

Dustin explained, '50 years ago, a student named Charles Galloway fled from the campus after some economy classes by the meanest teacher here, one Mr. Hodgeson.'

'Can't be worse than Mr. Howard…' reasoned Freddie.

Dustin doubted that. 'My sister and her friends tried to find his tomb. Opening it triggered a terrible curse. They think they have resolved the curse, but I still don't believe that…'

Freddie grunted, 'there's no such thing as curses!'

Dustin trembled.

Ryan didn't know whether there was a curse, but he had to save his pal Jimmy Maddigan, before he was about going the same way that Jimmy Hoffa had gone before.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

101 Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett, Carly Shay

* * *

Carly had told her roomies about her strange day. 'I'm a triangle,' squealed she in a sarcastic manner.

Sam moaned, 'I was forced to wash my hands before cooking, for the first time in three months I had to do so.'

Melanie chuckled. 'Freddie seems to have a crush on me, but bad luck for him, I'm already engaged to Mr. Hot, i.e. Logan Reese.' She beamed.

Carly chuckled. 'Really? The son of the Hollywood king? Freddie probably just wants to provocate Sam, anyways.'

Sam shrugged carelessly. 'Tomorrow, I will make some buffet for various camps who have no time for a real lunch break, such as _Camp Rocque_ and the acting camp. That will be cool! I've heard that there are many hot boys.'

Carly choked, as she had never told Sam that she was really related to Drake Parker. But then she fell asleep, anyways.

* * *

**Chapter 4 Snack Time**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

next day, morning sessions

******Place**:

* * *

drama camp

******People**:

* * *

Mr. Fletcher, Camille Pensky[4:1], Victoria Vega, Trini Vega, Catherine Valentine, Robert Shapiro, Beck Oliver, Jenifer Todd[4:2], Jenifer Hatem[4:3], Ashley Blake, Amber Tate[4:4], Sam Puckett, some other pupils (background)

* * *

Sam was preparing pasta for the snack break of te drama club. She was very careful, and she had even washed her hands twice. She watched the club members. Sam liked Ashley most of them all. Alas, she was annoyed by the presence of Ashley's favourite colleague, Amber Tate.

But this disgust was not going to last long.

Only thirty minutes later, she came to think that that Amber was actually very cool. She also had to giggle when thinking about all those Jenifers.

Mr. Fletcher talked to his students. 'OK, as you know, we are going to give a play about famous Boston tea party.'

Sam's mouth turned watery, as she associated falsely Boston's historical tea party with an event where they devoured cream pies while drinking good tea.

Mr. Fletcher explained that he was very sad because Lola Martinez, the most gifted actress that had ever lived at the _Pacific Coast Academy_, was not available for this camp. 'Lola is shooting some movie abroad, but she will be here on July 4 in order to watch our performance. And you know that this means that we have to be very well, as Lola's eyes are totally critical!'

The students shrugged.

Alas, Mr. Fletcher also noticed that governor Conan [4:5] is going to watch us.

The pupils trembled with excitement, as the governor was a former actor in movies of world-wide renown, such as [4:6] and [4:7].

Mr. Fletcher did not have to explain thrice that a bad impression was not only a disgrace for the school, but for Hollywood and California as a whole.

Ashley and Amber ignored Mr. Fletcher's warnings with ease. _Being celebrities, they did not have to care about the feelings of some middle-class actors of the past._

The adviser also announced that the sewing club was going to build some real-looking costumes, under the custody of adviser Fielder.[4:8]

Sam gasped. 'Wasn't that the arts teacher that Spencer had once provoked badly?'

Alas, as the costumes were not yet ready, the pupils of the drama club had to practise with their usual clothes on.

Ashley walked up to Sam. 'A bagel, please! You know, no more fat than…'

Sam nodded. She knew that Ashley was totally picky. 'I've also sorted the gummi worms… no green ones for you, as everyone knows.'

Ashley beamed. 'Good slave! Fatwart Benson is so due…'

Sam beamed.

The Jenifers ordered more snacks.

Tori also wanted something.

Sam gasped, 'You look a lot like my friend Shelby.'[4:9]

Tori beamedm, explaining that Shelby was her cousin, and so was Lola Martinez about whome Fletcher had been talking.

Sam sighed. _Maybe she should have hired Tori instead of Ashley in order to annoy Freddie who had had a crush on Shelby. But why not use both of them? The more the merrier!_

Tori explained that Shelby was also here at the summer camp. 'She's in the martial camp. Yesterday, she has flattened some fat-assed farter named Duke.' Tori giggled mercilessly. 'The jerk didn't want to believe that girls were any good in wrestling.'

Sam chuckled. 'Good Shelby!'

Beck Oliver, who was going to play George Washington, wondered how he was going to look with the wig. 'Do I need to wear fake teeth made of pure cherry wood?'

Sam gasped, complaining 'don't trust any dentist, they are all meanies who squirt you with toxic gas that makes you give away your secrets!'[4:10].

Tori's sister Trina was very arrogant, but Sam was not going to let her get away with that demeanour.

Cat Valentine complained about the colour of her pasta.

Robbie Shapiro argued with his dummy.

'Get a life,' yelled Sam at Robbie. 'You ventriloquists are one schizo bunch!' She still remembered that boring sock puppeteer Henry Tris and his "Oumpeeh" from her visit to Tokyo.[4:11] Sam grabbed Robbie's dummy, and she flang it across the campus.

Robbie felt insulted.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Shane Diamond, James Diamond, Kendall Knight, Logan Mitchell, Carlos Pena

* * *

Camp Rocque had a few hours off.

Kendall explained that Mr. Rocque was in town in order to negotiate with the guy above him, Mr. Griffin, the great record studio owner. 'Griffin fearsthat his trousers cool down too fast over here…'

Freddie could not understand that, as they were in California, not in Seattle. 'Why is he addicted to hot pants?'

Shane chuckled.

Alas, noone had got an idea.

The four members of the band "Big Time", i.e. Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James, had come together in Freddie's dorm in order to discuss a possible music video.

Freddie beamed, and he explained 'oh, hi, I've got this new software from Quinn Pensky. I've never supposed that girls could be that smart with technological things…'

Shane nodded. 'Not until I had heard about Paige Howard. By the way. Quinn had totally envied Paige. But she is totally as of what had happened to Paige, ever since…'

Freddie moaned. 'people disappearing mysteriously? Not with me…'

Alas, unlike Freddie, James Diamond was totally worried about his colleague James Maddigan. 'What is the ghost of Charles Galloway has raped him?'

Freddie grunted, 'there is no such thing as curses, ghosts…'

The others were annoyed by Freddie's stubbornness.

Alas, Freddie started the engines. 'Now you may start to sing!'

The four "bigtimers" started to squeal like crazy.

Freddie's ears hurt. 'Barring Kendall, that was worse than Jake Crendel!' He pushed the buttons.

Shane observed Freddie carefully. 'I think I've got the hang out of it!'

Freddie smiled. Then he let the boys listen to their own work.

James smiled, 'Woe, that sounds perfect!'

Shane nodded. 'I told you, cousin, Freddie's gonna fix it!'

Freddie sighed with relief. 'Now Shane has learnt to use the system, and he will continue with you in the evening.'

The "bigtimers" nodded solemnly.

Alas, Logan Mitchell did not trust Freddie, as he had turned down his cousin Shannon, just two years ago.[4:12]

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

afternoon hours

******Place**:

* * *

camp Rocque

******People**:

* * *

Samantha Puckett, James Diamond, Carlos Pena, Logan Mitchell, Kendall Knight, Gustavo Rocque, Kelly Wainright, Drake Parker, Lisa Perkins, André Harris, Harper Harris[4:13], Ginger Fox[4:14], Wade Collins[4:15], David Arculetta[4:16]

* * *

Sam was preparing ravioli for the camp.

Gustavo Rocque was particularly angry. 'Mr. Griffin expects much more from Drake's new band than a bunch of losers like you!'

Drake was not exactly of the opinion that the canditates for his band was a heap of losers. 'I think there are some gifted…'

Gustavo yelled, 'I tell you who or what is gifted!'

Kelly tried hard to calm down her infuriated boss.

Sam almost trembled, and this meant a lot, as Sam was not someone to show emtions easily.

Lisa Perkins was desperate. 'Gustavo goes mightily on my nerves…'

James Diamond was now sure that they needed more than just a good music video in order to make it anywhere.

David Arculetta moaned heavily.

Harper complained. 'Gustavo brought my brother André to weep. He doesn't even care that Jimmy Maddigan has fled elsewhere…'

Sam grunted, 'someone must teach that Rocque a lesson…'

The only ones to get along easily with Gustavo Rocque were Ginger Fox and Wade Collins.

Wade encouraged Gustavo to ignore the protests of the pupils, as they were just a bunch of "hobknockers".

Mr. Rocque agreed wholeheartedly.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

curfew time

******Place**:

* * *

101 Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Melanie Puckett

* * *

The girls talked about their exciting day.

Sam complained about Gustavo Rocque being even way too mean for her own taste.

Carly gasped, as being too mean for Sam's feelings meant an insane lot.

Melanie sighed. 'I've heard that the recorder palyer, one Nevel, is really scary. And I have to dance to his tune.'

Carly confirmed Melanie's fears. 'That's correct, I could tell you stories about Nevel. And the worst is that my cousin Megan really seems to like him.' She sighed deeply, as everything she saw around herself were triangles. 'But what to do with that Rocque guy? He's rocque-solid…'

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Ryan Laserbeam, Dustin Brooks

* * *

Dustin walked in circles, and he fell into his bed, curling upto a circle.

Ryan sighed.

Freddie moaned, 'Shane's cousin is totally enervated by Gustavo Rocque.'

Ryan explained that he had asked Lulu for help in finding Jimmy Maddigan, but she couldn't walk anymore in curves, only straight ahead. 'I can't let her look for him, as she would only walk straight ahead, and end up lost in Canada or so…'

Freddie feared that he had no solution either. But he had been made swoon by actress Ashley Blake, yet he kept that a secret.

* * *

**Chapter 5 Open Mic Night**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

July 1, breakfast time

******Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Dustin Brooks, Fredward Benson, Ryan Laserbeam

* * *

It was the day of the Open Mic Night of _Camp Rocque_.

Freddie had been extremely busy preparing the technical aspects of the camp: Accoustics, illumination, power supply. He had experienced in person what an excessive pain in the tail it was when you had to work under the auspieces of Gustavo Rocque.

Dustin felt still spinning around like an old record. 'I am a circle, I am…'

Freddie was annoyed, but he knew that it was not Dustin's fault. _Carly had been not much different, as of recent, except that she was so triangular, and not circular like Dustin._

Ryan was still down because Jimmy Maddigan had not been found, inspite of desperate attempts by Master Ranger Kenneth Billiam[5:1] from the scout camp, and his inept assistants Coco Wexler and Walter Nichols.

And the tension for the open mic night was great: It was almost half of the decision concerning who was going to join Drake's Parker's band…

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

late afternoon

******Place**:

* * *

campus square

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Quinn Pensky, Shane Diamond, Samantha Puckett, Carly Shay, Melanie Puckett, Gibby Carlsen, Lulu Johnson, Katie Knight, Shelby Marx, Victoria Vega, Dean Rivers, Beverley, Kelly Wainright, Helen Baxter, Gavin, Gustavo Rocque, Drake Parker, Custodian Gordy, Dustin Brooks, David Arculetta, Wade Collins, Ginger Fox, Lisa Perkins, Harper Harris, kendall Knight, Logan Mitchell, James Diamond, Carlos Pena, Nevel Papperman, Megan Parker, James Maddigan, André Harris, many anonymous participants of the summer camp (background)

* * *

Quinn slammed her screwdriver into the illumination. 'That should do it…'

Freddie agreed.

Shane grinned. 'Yeah, Maxwell's equations have done it again.'

Quinn nodded solemnly.

Shane chuckled. 'Maybe Dean Rivers will even forget about the little explosion we had caused yesterday in his hall of fame…'

Freddie gasped, 'which explosion?'

Quinn coughed. 'Nothing of significance…' She whistled innocently.

Freddie shrugged.

The campus square was filling, as most pupils wanted to attend the famous open mic night of the camp.

Carly and Sam had been early. They wanted to watch all the exciting boys from as close and possible. They were especially looking forward to watch James Diamond, the relative of their former common crush, Shane. They ran a similar competition as back when they met Shane first:

The one to get the first longer kiss from James was the one to be allowed to date him.

But also the other boys of _Big Time_ were popular with the girls.

Melanie was sitting behind Carly and Sam. She already had a fiancé, formerly mentioned Hollywood heir Logan Reese, but she could not leave any hot boy to Sam, no matter what.

Gibby carlsen came along, followed by Lulu Johnson.'Hi Carly, have you already seen Lulu, my new girlfriend?'

Lulu smiled at Carly. 'Of course we know us already… I am a straight line!'

Carly grinned. 'Good for you…' _At least when compared to that Tasha…_[5:2]

Gibby smiled when he sat next to Luly.

Katie Knight strolled in. 'Oh, my brother Kendall is performing during the Open Mic Night…'

Carly and Sam started swooning. They had heard that all the four "Bigtimers" were incredibly hot.

Shelby and Tori sat down in the second row.

Spencer was still busy in the workshop for the outfit and decoration of the parade, so he had not had the time to join Carly to the Open Mic Night.

Dean Rivers, the headmaster of the _Pacific Coast Academy_, showed up. He stepped forward to the microphone.

Kelly Wainright and her cousin Beverly, the school's secretary, were chitchatting nearby.

Dean Rivers started talking, 'attention, this is the dean speaking. Welcome to our open mic night! Whatever, I'm not going to guide you through this evening. Nothing but annoying garbage that some people dare to call "music". Anyways, we;ve found someone who will guide you…'

Many pupils protested when the dean had compared Drake Parker, the "bigtimers", or _America Sings_ -idols Lisa Perkins and David Arculetta "garbage".

Dean Rivers concluded, 'so, the one to guide you through the evening is Helen Baxter, the owner of _Première Theater_ in San Diego Belleview.'

Helen was not known to people outside southern California, although she had been a kid star in the seventies. But nowadays, she was a tyrannic cinema owner. She commanded her employee Gavin mercilessly around. 'OK,people, this open mic knight is part of _Camp Rocque_, and here he is, Gustavo Rocque. Applause!'

Alas, the pupils had been annoyed by Gustavo's endless arrogance.

Gustavo entered the provisory stage, and he started yelling around.

Business as usual.

Helen shouted back.

The viewers started laughing.

Helen announced Drake Parker, one of her favourites, ever. 'Drake is going to open this part with his song _Makes Me Happy_[5:3].'

The pupils applauded.

While Drake adjusted his guitar and picked a plectrum, custodian Gordy entered the stage. 'I'm done with my job for today, the nightshift will do the rest,' remarked he in a lazy manner.

Gustavo and Helen commanded Gordy, 'you are the nightshift!'

Gordy sighed, and he went back to work.

The pupils applauded for Drake.

Sam swooned. 'He's so hot, no comparison to Fredworm Benson!'

Carly shrugged.

When Drake was done, Hellen picked the microphone. 'OK, thanks Drake, you're simply the greatest! Today, we are going to look for new members for Drake's band. Maybe you want him, the winner of _America Sings_, down to some lame web-show…'

Carly and Sam grunted, 'lame web-show?'

Dustin Brooks had been hidden among the mass of pupils, but calling _iCarly_ lame was too much for him. He build a paper plane, took elan, and fired it at Helen Baxter.

The plane flew in several circles, until it came down on Helen, sticking in her right nosehole.

The pupils laughed excessively like hyenas.

Helen sneezed noisily, completing the phrase 'David Arculetta'.

David stepped on the stage. He high-fived with his friend Drake. Then he sang a few songs that he had studied from Gustavo Rocque's collection.

Helen had said that the viewers' applause was important for the decision, but she gave the impression that it was ultimately no other than Gustavo Rocque who was going to decide on his own about everything.

The pupils applauded David, as they had done when he won in Ray N.D. Jackson[5:4]'s show.

Helen thanked David, and then she announced Wade Collins and Ginger Fox who had practised something together. 'The title of their song is _Hobknockers_…'

The pupils booed and felt insulted.

The performance of Wade and Ginger was not too bad, but it annoyed the pupils that Helen appeared to favour them.

The next canditate was Lisa Perkins who had been in the top ten of _America Sings_.

When Lisa entered the stage, Harper Harris yelled that he wanted to perform with her.

Helen was surprised, as they had not been listed as one number. 'But OK…'

Harper and Lisa performed Reggae classic _Buffalo Soldier_[5:5].

The viewers clapped along rhythmically.

Finally, Helen announced _Big Time_, the band of James, Carlos, Logan, and Kendall.

Katie cheered fanatically for her brother.

The "bigtimers" had been working for Rocque for almost a year now, but they were still treated like dirt.

The pupils adored the performance of the four boys from Minnesota.

Helen was already bound for announcing the winner when she saw one additional number in her list. 'and there we have Gibson Cornelius Carlsen, performing something special…'

Gibby waved when he entered the stage. He climbed a table that had been used for holding spare guitars and stuff like that. Then he buttoned his shirt open, yelling, 'hello California, here comes Gibby!' With excessive power, he flang his shirt away.

Drake was forced to play a rockpop song on his guitar, _Highway To Nowhere_[5:6].

The pupils laughed rhythmically when they saw shirtless Gibby dancing on the table.

Sam stood up, and she held soime torn white fabric with brown stains aloft. 'And here are his panties!' She grinned satanically.

The pupils applauded for Sam, too.

Gibby grinned after his performance. 'Yeah! I'm awesome!'

As entertaining as it may have been, Gibby was as far from being a serious canditate for Drake's band as could only be.

Hellen was rigged and ready to announce the winners, in accordance with Gustavo Rocque.

The pupils were excited.

The suspense increased.

Helen boomed, 'and the winners are… Ginger Fox and Wade Collins!'

The pupils were — of course — disappointed as can be.

Megan and Nevel showed up. They had not been present during the presentations, but they knew that Baxter and Rocque needed a lesson.

Nevel took his recorder, and he started to play the _Marseillaise_[5:7].

Megan checked her oboe. 'That means revolution!' She started playing along.

Katie Knight started singing.

* * *

Aux armes, citoyens!  
Formez vos bataillons!  
Marchons! Marchons!  
Qu'un sang impur  
Abreuve nos sillons![5:8]

* * *

The pupils stormed the stage, and they seized and tied Gustavo Rocque and Helen Baxter, tying them. Then they dragged them away, and they stuffed and locked them into a closet.

Megan dragged Drake Parker to the microphone. 'You know what to say!'

Drake nodded. 'Pupils and chicks… I've come to a decision… my new band members will be…'

The suspense increased.

Drake completed, 'all of the participants in _Camp Rocque_… you have been all fantastic, and it would be totally mean to exclude any of you!'

The pupils applauded wholeheartedly.

Drake had one last word to say, 'and Gibby will be my new personal assistant!'

Gibby cheered, 'teah, I'm the most awesome guy of the camp!' He cheered, beaming proudly.

Lulu cheered, 'go Gibs! I love pancakes!'

Carly and Sam finally approached the "Bigtimers".

Carly felt that it was the chance of her life when she moved close to James Diamond. 'Hi James, I…'

James waited for Carly to say something cute.

Carly completed, '… I am a triangle. My angles are…'

Sam punched her own forehead.

Carly was flabbergasted, and then she ran away, from angle to angle, talking about sine and cosine and stuff.

Sam laughed. 'I really don't know what happened to her…' She shrugged.

James walked away with his pals, 'I don't understand girls…'

His best friends agreed wholeheartedly.

Sam looked flabbergasted.

Custodian Gordy came back from his patrol. 'Look whom I've found…' He was followed by two lost pupils, James Maddigan and André Harris.

Lulu sighed with relief. 'I have to tell my friends Ryan and True…'

Gibby nodded. He didn't mind anything, now that he had been chosen as Drake Parker's personal assistant.

Megan grinned, as she had suggested Gibby for that rôle.

Finally,the students returned to their dormitory halls, awaiting the last days of the camp, culminating in the parade of independence.

* * *

**Chapter 6 The Parade**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

July 4 2010, 10 am

******Place**:

* * *

campus square of the _Pacific Coast Academy_

******People**:

* * *

Jessica Warner[6:1], Nevel Papperman, Megan Parker, Ryan Laserbeam, Melanie Puckett, True Jackson, Miss Fielder, Spencer Shay, Dean Rivers, many anonymous pupils and teachers (background)

* * *

The pupils were starting to arrange around the campus for the annual parade from the campus centre to Malibu's marketplace.

Jessica Warner, the reporter from Pacific News, started the live report about the great parade. 'Many have been gathered for that fantastic event: The pupils, the teachers, many guests,…'

Nevel and Megan got their woodwinds rigged and ready.

Ryan Laserbeam, lucky to have found Jimmy again, took oplace in the front row of the majorettes, including Melanie Puckett. He performed a few jumps.

True Jackson who had fashioned the costumes for the parade, along with Miss Fielder, could not believe that her friend Jimmy had been hiding in a room with rats and spiderwebs for several day, without food and water, just to be safe from the wrath of Gustavo Rocque.

Spencer met Miss Fielder. 'Do we want to mix more colours?'

'Why not,' wondered Miss Fielder. 'This is True Jackson, she has invented the Penny Tees.'

Spencer shook hands with True.

Dean Rivers gave a long and boring speech.

Spencer remarked that he had made the face of Benedict Arnold in the likeness of Mr. Howard.

Freddie, Carly, and Sam cheered.

Nevel and Megan started playing.

Many pupils sang along when Melanie and her minions started marching and performing their acrobatic tricks.

* * *

Let martial note in triumph float  
And liberty extend its mighty hand  
A flag appears 'mid thunderous cheers  
The banner of the western land.  
The emblem of the brave and true  
Its folds protect no tyrant crew  
The red and white and starry blue  
Is freedom's shield and hope.

* * *

The long parade took a serpentine course across the campus, until hit passed through the gates.

The onlookers waved.

Not all of the participants of the camp followed the parade down to the centre of Malibu.

Jessica Warner announced that her sweetie Jeremaiah Trottman was going to take over the live report from the town centre of Malibu, where he was waiting with the governor and many other uttermost important people.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

lounge of Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Dustin Brooks, a few anonymous pupils (background)

* * *

Carly would have followed the marching parade, but she could only walk in triangles. She sank into a chair in her lounge, as she recognised Dustin who was already sitting nearby.

Dustin smiled and blushed.

Carly sweated. 'I'm a triangle…'

Dustin moaned, 'everything turns around…'

Carly sighed. 'Do triangles and circles get along?'

Dustin remarked, 'Each triangle has got its circumscribed circle, and its inscribed circle.'

Carly nodded. 'True… wait, both the inscribed and circircumscribed circle are uniqely determined by the triangle, whereas each circle may be associated to a continuum of triangles.'

Dustin nodded solemnly.

Carly pouted, 'not fair!'

Dustin wondered what was wrong.

Carly complained that circles were so much better off…

Dustin shrugged. 'Maybe it's much harder to be a circle than a triangle?'

Carly scratched her chin. 'How so? Wait, a triangle in a plain is fixed by knowing its corners, and each corner has two coordinates, thus it needs six numbers. Whereas for a circle…'

Dustin concluded, 'three numbers: two coordinates of the centre, plus the radius…'

Carly reasoned that this way, there were many more triangles than circles.

Dustin sighed. 'Dunno, Takato says that there are actually as many circles in the plain as there are triangles, but this doesn't sound right to me…'

Carly shrugged. 'So, you have been a fan of my show for three years now?'

Dustin nodded solemnly.

Carly smiled. 'OK, I think you deserve a hug…'

Dustin blushed to death.

Carly huggled the hell out of Dustin. 'Do you want to be my inscribed circle?'

Dustin beamed. 'Sure! But you'd have to be my only triangle!'

Carly squeezed Dustin more fondly. 'Of course…' _Dustin was nowhere near as hot as the "bigtimers", but he was much sweeter and smarter._

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

outside a closet in Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Sam Puckett, Melissa Robinson[6:2], Chuck Chambers, Helen Baxter, Gustavo Rocque

* * *

Since the end of the open mic night, Helen and Gustavo had been locked in a closet separated from the rest of the hall by a mesh fence, similar to the one in Bushwell Plaza where Spencer had been locked in by Chuck Chambers about a year ago.[6:3]

Shelby had armlocked both of them, and then locked them away safely.

Sam was going to look whether they were still in there. She startled when she noticed who had been guarding them: 'Chuck? Missy?'

Chuck and Missy held hands, and they grinned. 'Pukebuckett!'

Helen and Gustavo complained aloud.

Chuck took his automatic pumpgun, and he fired a salvo of slimy liquid at the two tyrants.

Sam sighed. _Wow, Chuck and Missy could do something good!_ 'Do you already know the wedgie bounce torture?'[6:4]

Missy and Chuck shook their heads.

Sam whispered something into Missy's and Chuck's ears.

Chuck and Missy grinned mischievously. 'Thanks, that was a great idea!'

Sam would have loved watching the torture continue, but she had to watch something more important…

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

148 Maxwell Hall

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Ashley Blake, Samantha Puckett (initially hidden)

* * *

Freddie's heart beat at maximum speed, as Ashley had actually appeared for a date, just the two of them, in his dormitory room. He knew that Dustin and Ryan were occupied with other things, thus unlikely to butt in. Alas, he had totally forgotten to check under the beds for hidden monsters…

Ashley appeared totally cool and aloft, although she permanently hit on Freddie with her seemingly hungry eyes.

Freddie couldn't bear the suspense. he had done all sorts of dirty jobs for the teenage celebrity, things that had made Sam and Carly laugh about him without a trace of remorse and mercy. But he could bear all that, as now he could boast with an attractive celebrity girlfriend. _This was going to punish Sam and Carly for their arrogance!_

Alas, when Freddie was close to kissing Ashley, the latter pushed him back. 'What do you think, you dork? You can't touch a celebrity!'

Sam — hidden under the single bed — chuckled mercilessly.

Freddie was consternated.

Ashley giggled. 'Honestly, it was all Sam's idea.' She pitied Freddie slightly, but that was not obvious.

Freddie blew a cloud of billowing smoke and fog through his capital orifices.

Sam beamed brightly. _Sam was the winner! Sam was the winner! The dorkward lost badly!_

Ashley wondered, 'why does Sam do that?'

Freddie grunted, 'she's a demon…'

Ashley sighed and whispered, 'or she has got a crush on you?'

Freddie wennt plae, 'never…'

Ashley grinned, 'let's see…' She grabbed Freddie and pulled him almost into a kiss.

Sam jumped out from her hideout, thundering 'stop!'

Ashley giggled mercilessly.

Sam grabbed Freddie, 'he's mine!'

Freddie was now even more flabbergasted. 'Sam? Really?'

Sam expressed that she would never have wanted to share Freddie.

Ashley grinned. 'That's cool, for Kendall Knight would not want to share me, either…'

Sam grinned. 'That would hurt Carly! One hot boy more out of reach…' She had no clue that Carly was now more content with a way less hot boy, such as Dustin Brooks, but she didn't really care, as Freddie was all she wanted, and vice versa.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

afternoon of same day

******Place**:

* * *

market place of Malibu

******People**:

* * *

Dean Rivers, Jeremiah Trottman, Spencer Shay, Miss Fielder, Melanie Puckett, Ryan Laserbeam, Nevel Papperman, Megan Parker, masses of participants and onlookers (background)

* * *

'Pacific News,this is Jeremiah Trottman,' announced the news reporter on the streets, 'hundred thousands of people have gathered here, awaiting the huge parade of the _Pacific Coast Academy_.'

Spencer and Miss Fielder were watching hand in hand.

Finally, the moment had come for setting the sculpture of Benedict Arnold ablaze.

Dean Rivers had Spencer allowed to do this with his own hands, as Spencer was likely to set something ablaze, anyways, so he better do it to something that is meant to burn rathern than anything valuable.

Miss Fielder cheered for Spencer.

Spencer knew that Carly, Freddie, and Sam were watching the ceremony on TV. _They were going to cheer for Mr. Howard's counterimage to catch flames._ Then he took the torch from Dean Rivers. He let his beloved Miss Fielder take pictures of his great deed, meant for the web show's independence special.

A flame shot aloft when the worst of all teachers caught fire.

Megan's oboe sounded around, accompanied by Nevel's recorder.

The choir completed its work.

* * *

Hooray for the flag of the free!  
May it wave as our standard forever!  
The gem of the land and the sea,  
The banner of the right.  
Let despots remember the day  
When our fathers with mighty endeavour  
Proclaimed as they marched to the fray  
That by their might and their right  
It waves forever!

* * *

The sculpture of Mr. Howard — symbol of despotism — fell apart, completely incinerated.

**_The End_**

* * *

** 1:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Zoey's Ribs_

**1:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_: _Spring Break-Up_

**1:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iTake On Dingo_

**1:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iGot Detention_

**1:5**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWill Date Freddie_

**1:6**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHatch Chicks_, identified with Blatzberg from _Zoey 101_ : _Wrestling_

**2:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Bad Girl_ — identifies Trisha Kirby with Melanie Puckett

**2:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _The Play_

**2:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iPromote Techfoots_

**2:4**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Little Diva_

**2:5**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iSaw Him First_ — surname is taken from same actor's rôle in _Bigtime Rush_

**2:6**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Paige At PCA_

**3:1**:

* * *

spoof off _Camp Rock_, a movie which I don't own either

**3:2**:

* * *

cf. _True Jackson VP_ : _Hiring A Pink_

**3:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iLike Jake_, _The iCarly Show_ : _iRock The Vote_

**3:4**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Curse At PCA_

**4:1**:

* * *

from _Bigtime Rush_— surname is chosen in agreement with same actor's rôle in _Zoey 101_

**4:2**:

* * *

one of the three "Jenifers" from _Bigtime Rush_— surname chosen in agreement with same actor's rôle in _Dog Gone_ which I don't own

**4:3**:

* * *

another Jenifer from _Bigtime Rush_— surname chosen for same actor's rôle in _Striking Range_ which I don't own

**4:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iCarly Saves T_

**4:5**:

* * *

rôle of Arnold Schwarzenegger in some movies that I don't own. The movies mentioned below are spoofing same actor's movies

**4:6**:

* * *

The Ruminator

**4:7**:

* * *

Arnie the Barber

**4:8**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iMust Have Locker 239_

**4:9**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_

**4:10**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iThink They Kissed_

**4:11**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iGo To Japan_

**4:12**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWin A Date_

**4:13**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iCarly Saves TV_ — surname chosen in affinity to André

**4:14**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iFix A Pop Star_

**4:15**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iRock The Votes_

**4:16**:

* * *

ditto

**5:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Logan Gets Cut Off_

**5:2**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iEnrage Gibby_

**5:3**:

* * *

song by Drake Bell which I don't own

**5:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iSpy A Mean Teacher_

**5:5**:

* * *

song by Robert Marley which I don't own

**5:6**:

* * *

song by Drake Bell which I don't own

**5:7**:

* * *

French anthem

**5:8**:

* * *

To the weapons, citizens, form your troops, let's march in order to water the acres with some dirty blood!

**6:1**:

* * *

various cameos throughout _The iCarly Show_

**6:2**:

* * *

**6:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iReunite With Missy_

**6:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHate Sam's Boyfriend_

* * *

_This document was translated from L[A]T[E]X by __H__V__A__._


End file.
